Lessons In Love, Life, and Business

If your relationship lacks a deliberate and mutually agreed upon intention that is grounded in the expansion of love and spiritual evolution, it will eventually devolve into the selfish insistence that you meet each other’s needs as a token of demonstrating your love and commitment to one another (or the relationship)

This inevitably leads to separation as no one person can ever meet all your needs in a relationship or succeed in the game of ‘proving’ one’s love or commitment. If it needs to be proved, it’s not a game that can be won. Or a game worth playing.

Instead, surrender your ego to the consciously co-created intentions that you made for joining forces together in the expansion of love and spiritual evolution.

This is what will allow you transcend both of your individual preferences, and allow space for your true and authentic commitment to unfold.

This is the delicate balance between your ego and your higher self in relationships.

Just one small snippet of what you can expect from The Love Immersion

I’m curious… what do you think of this stuff? Do you dig it? Would you want to participate in the co-creation and sharing of this message in any capacity?

Let me know.

Kevin

PS: I wrote this over 2 years ago and reposted it, and my friend saw it and decided to post it on his page (Relationship Rules) which has close to 10 million fans.

Now, my post has had over 1,500+ people like it, 500+ people share it, and several hundreds comment on it.

I never would have thought that would happen from a simple re-share that I did when reading a flash back from my past. Feeling both proud and humbled. It’s just a Facebook share at the end of the day, and a couple thousand people liking and commenting, but the nature of how it happened is pretty cool. Easy. Effortless. Flow. More of this, please.

Check it out and read it if you haven’t already

It’s good stuff

PPS: if you want to learn more about how to create a relationship with a shared intention in the evolution of love and spiritual growth, check out ____

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“I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.”- Virgina Satir

The Danger in Believing ‘Everything is a Mirror’

I operated under this belief structure, making everything that happened about me, as something for me to learn from and grow from.

It was incredibly useful, rich, rewarding, reflective.

AND, it was also incredibly painful and limiting.

For many reasons

I love the way this writer put it here:

“‘Everything is a Mirror’ can be a powerful and transformative practice as we learn to navigate the synchronistic relationship between the inner and outer life, between self and other. But the moment we lose sight of the paradoxical nature of life, this bit of New Age fundamentalism can make us too psychically porous and, in certain situations, even put us in harm’s way. It can be especially damaging in abusive or chaotic situations, and can lead to victim-blaming and justification of reckless behavior.

There are times when someone else’s bad behavior is theirs and theirs alone. And, instead of reflecting on how you might improve yourself or ‘rise above your emotions,’ you must respect your reaction and Become the Mirror. Which is to say, show the other your strong, clear boundary.

This idea that we should have unlimited patience and flexibility implied in the ‘mirror’ precept trains us to tolerate more than we should, always ‘working on ourselves,’ quelling our disagreements, being ‘more evolved,’ and attaining inner peace. But what if inner peace depends upon your speaking your NO? What if being evolved means wielding the sword of discernment, which knows its own standpoint and isn’t afraid to say, “I’m not in that.”

In the ancient Kabbalastic tradition, the development of the soul is represented by a symbol called the Tree of Life. Its a kind of map to divinity which respects the polarities, and the middle way between them. Upon the tree are 10 sefirot, or spiritual principles, by which the world is created. Though it is a rich and complex system, I’d like to speak about one pair of counterparts; Chesed and Gevurah.

While Chesed is ‘boundless loving kindness,’ Gevurah is ‘no more.’ It is the restraint of our natural impulse to bestow goodness. It’s the line drawn in the sand.  While Chesed draws the other close, Gevurah is boundaries. It is the withdrawal which holds the other accountable.

Together, Chesed and Gevurah act to create a dynamic balance in the soul’s navigation of relationships & the world. Paradoxically, (and here’s the juicy part) it is Gevurah’s withdrawal which creates the potentiality for Chesed to occur! In other words, the discipline you expect of others is actually an expression of love. Different from judgement, Gevurah is the tenacity to our own & others’ greatest potential.

Though asserting your boundaries rarely feels ‘good’ in the moment, it is ultimately a loving gesture to recognize someone’s capability and say, “I expect better from you.” To say NO is a potent medicine which places responsibility where it truly belongs, and invites the other to live up to honouring those limits.

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Beautifully articulated distinctions on How to evoke the most powerfully attractive qualities in your partner….

THE SIMPLE PHYSICS OF A PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP …

Presence Evokes Invitation…

Lovingly gifting your undivided and full attention inspires your Lover to gift you with their encouraging enticement

Invitation Evokes Presence…

Lovingly Alluring your partner to open with You inspires them to redirect their Presence towards You

Claim Evokes Surrender…..

Dedicating yourself to a vision that includes your Lover in steadfast bond ,inspires them to trust your direction and they respond with surrender and devotion

Surrender Evokes Claim…

Being open to trust your Lover deeper than you have before in fearless surrender, inspires them to step up and claim your heart with loyalty and forward their life mission

Penetration Evokes Expression

Feeling as if you`ve already entered your Lover`s body, mind and soul inspires them to respond with undressed expressions of truth,fullness and pleasure

Expression Evokes Penetration

Being freely demonstrative with your pleasure of being taken and wholly enjoyed inspires your Lover to enter you with precious awareness and skillful navigation of the depths of your Being

Drop old roles and play this game of proactively provoking passion from all sides

Never wait for your Lover to do any of the above ….Be the Passion Igniter first

At the end of life all relationships fade into passing and all that was important was the waves of Unity you emanated outward for the sake of all Beings

If you`d like to be invited to our Sacred Relationship Tantra retreats, join our private invite list at www.WarriorSage.com

or reach out by message

I find myself laughing uncontrollably while simultaneously dying on the inside.

Doing deep “identity-level” inner work, and shadow transmutation, is by far the most disorienting, liberating, painful, humorous, hopeful and simultaneously hopeless inner experience that I have ever felt.

It is rich with range… and full of paradox. Can anyone else relate?

I feel a greater sense of equanimity and peace and levity, as well as a greater sense of self-awareness and self-trust. While simultaenously feeling the walls caving in, as I see that this is the water I swim in, and the task at hand here for me feels HUGE.

Useful tools that have aided me in my self-inquiry and growth:

-Enneagram Exploration (gifts, shadow, passions, virtues, wings, etc)

-Heightened Emotional Awareness

-Self-Awareness of Overlapping Patterns

-Consciousness

-Great Coaches And Guides To Hold Space, Guide, And Allow for Massive Breakthroughs and Transmutations

In addition to living in a state of endless self-inquiry (one of the many gifts and vices), as well as working with many profound healers and coaches, I also just signed up for a 10-week deep-dive course on the Enneagram with Russ Hudson (one of the founders), where I’ll be diving into the passions and virtues of each of the 9 personality types.

Excited to bring the culmination of all this inner work out into the world more fully through my personal brand website, while I continue to go even deeper within myself. With even more tact, precision and grace.

If you’re interested in diving deep into your inner world, and permanently shifting things on an identity level, feel free to reach out to me to talk more. Otherwise I’ll just be working with my relationship coaching clients in my main company. Which is fun too. But nowhere near as fun as working with amazing beings like you

I just finished a FB live interview that gives you an insightful look at how you can use love and relationship as a “practice” of evolution, growth, and awakening – both through relationship transitions, as well as from the inside of a conscious relationship as displayed by my good friends Amanda Ranae and Matthew Cooke

We jammed on everything ranging from conscious and courageous transitions, evolutionary love, mindful conflict, healing and forgiveness, attachment styles, freedom seekers and stability seekers, how to keep things light and playful while disagreements and judgments are arising, and a whole ton of other things.

Check it out if you want to spend time jamming with 3 relationship geeks.

PS: I shared a really powerful idea at the end of the interview that bridges the idea of “3D Time” and “Conscious Creation” with Love.

Once you really *get* this idea, you’ll unlock the power of “Making Love All The Time”

I share this at the 40 minute mark, and everything from that point forward is profoundly rich and insightful

Breakups are initiations in Surrender.

Annika Stahlberg Can you elaborate on this please Kevin?

I’m struggling to understand what it means in practice

Kevin Kurgansky Surrender is one of those things that tends to do that. It scrambles the human mind. And the mind wants to know more. And yet, true surrender requires trust. Trust that you are being guided into something that is even greater for you, beyond your ability to imagine. Something that is even more optimal and aligned for you. Listen to how the universe is speaking to you. Get in relationship with it. Surrender to the signs and signals. Let it guide you.

Like 8 · January 21 at 2:19am

Other useful thoughts on this topic…

Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut more deeply, as few ingredients can.

–Hafiz

The highest Love you can have for another is wanting them to be on their journey of exploring their Highest Expression whether this includes you in their life or not. Releasing all personal attachments out of deepest Honouring of a beloved Soul’s evolution on Earth. An Initiation of the highest order.~

~ Saskia Waheina

I am being called to show up for myself in deeper ways than I have felt in a really long time. Possibly ever.

I wish that I could say that this is a beautiful gift and opportunity. And it is. But it is also frustrating. Maddening. Infuriating. Scary. And testing of all my limits.

I could easily just show up for myself in the physical realm and do what needs to be done in order to move myself forward in a positive direction. And instead, I am diving deep into the crevices of my emotional and spiritual realm, in order to meet hold and cradle myself there, as I feel the raw surging phenomenon that arise and emerge on a daily basis. Hell, on a minute to minute basis.

I wish there was some sort of answer or conclusion that goes beyond what I’m sharing right now. But this is all I have.

Simply meeting myself wherever I’m at. And inquiring into when this meeting of myself is serving me in rising to what is, and when it is me indulging in a creation of mine, when I could be indulging in many other potentially more serving creations. I am living into that question. And will have different answers emerge moment to moment.

In this moment, I am learning to transcend my masculine need for “completion”. And allowing myself to just be with what is. And let life reveal itself to me. Over time.