This might just be the most powerful thing that I’ve EVER learned.
I know that’s a really bold statement but the reason it’s so powerful is because it works every time.
In fact, it’s the very thing that spurred me on the path of awakening and self-development 8 years ago.
So what exactly is it that I’m talking about?
Your words and your language.
The way you use your language is by far the MOST impactful force in how you create your experience of life.
In simpler terms:
The way you talk to yourself affects everything.
This is the realization I had when I first began my journey.
I was floundering around in a lot of self-judgment, anger, frustration and disappointment.
I saw a lot of things about myself, and about my life, that I didn’t like.
I didn’t like who I was. Or where I was. Or what I was doing with my life.
And I just kept on creating more and more stories that reinforced this negative perception of self.
And the most devastating way that I was doing that was through the words that I was using.
I realized this was the #1 thing holding me back when I stumbled upon a book called “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter
Who later became the institute through which I got certified as a coach.
Fast forward, 8 years and I’ve had to learn and re-learn this lesson time and time again.
And that’s because it’s a PRACTICE
It’s not something that you learn once, and then transcend, and never fall fault to again.
It’s something that you have to continously be aware of, monitor, and practice.
What’s the best practice for being mindful of the words you use when you talk to yourself?
It’s a practice that one of my close friends, and mentors, refers to as “Precise Language”
This practice is what pulled me out of a spiral of negativity, apathy, and stale bitterness when I was living in Cabo for 3 months during the winter.
My friend had come to visit for 5 weeks and witnessed this pattern in full force for the time he was there. And through that, he instilled a practice in which we both carefully monitored our word choice as we openly talked about both of our struggles and challenges.
In other words: it was like a practice WITHIN a practice.
Okay, so here’s the practice:
Practice precision with your language
Be ULTRA precise with your choice in wording and phrasing
Be mindful of any kind of language that is negative, void of meaning, a negator or anti-something desirable.
For example:
I want to have a business where I don’t have to struggle
VS…
I want to run my business in a way where I can remain at ease within myself as I create whatever it is that I would like to create
Do you see what a drastically big difference these two sentences have?
In describing our challenges and frustrations, it can be VERY tempting to use language that is not precise or indicative of what it is that we’re actually wanting and feeling.
It’s easy, in a fit of frustration, to decide to say something in which we describe a negative away-from motivation.
IE: where I don’t have to struggle
By saying don’t have to struggle, you don’t actually describe the reality that you DO want to experience.
The don’t have to struggle, in this case, is a “void” word.
In other words: it doesn’t paint an actual reality.
It paints a tiny sliver of what something is NOT.
But it doesn’t tell you what it actually is.
For example:
If you asked me, where are the keys?
And I said: they’re not in the kitchen.
Do you have any idea where the keys actually are?
Would you know where to look to find them?
No.
Could you find them?
Sure.
But you’d probably have to stumble around the entire house, looking from room to room, drawer to drawer, cabinet to cabinet, couch by couch, in attempt to find it.
It would be infinitely easier (and quicker) to find the keys if we used precise language to describe exactly where they are.
For example:
When you walk into the house, make a left and go down the hallway that leads to the room at the very end of the hall.
Once you walk in to the room, go towards the bed and open the first drawer next to the left hand side of the bed. You will see the keys laying on top of a shirt. Pick them up and bring them to me please.
Do you see what a drastic difference that would make?
This language is highly precise
Apply this lesson to every other area of your life and watch as your entire life transforms.
Here’s a summary of the lesson:
Use your words to paint the reality that you want to create for yourself with clarity and precision
Be impeccable with your word
Use your language in a way that empowers you
Don’t use it to tear yourself down; only use it feed yourself positive thoughts that serve you in creating your desired reality.
Want a practical application of this principle?
Think about an area of your life where you are feeling stuck right now (or are just unsatisfied with the results you’re getting for whatever reason)
Part of the reason that you feel stuck in this area is because of the WORDS that you use when you TALK about this area of your life with yourself (and others)
In fact, I would argue that it’s the EXACT reason why you’re stuck right now (in addition to a whole slew of other things, I’m sure)
The most powerful way to observe where your language does NOT serve you is in how you talk about that area of your life with others.
We have a tendency to talk about it in a disempowering way when we are conversing with others.
Usually, it’s because we’re trying to get them to understand a certain feeling or emotion we had – based on the experiences we’ve experienced.
However, as a conscious creator, and as someone who wants to deliberately create something new in this area of your life, it only serves you to use the kind of language that helps you create what it is that you want.
Rather than using your language to convey something undesirable about the experience that you currently have, or have had in the past.
So bring greater mindfulness to how you use your language.
And change whatever story you have around this area of your life (no matter how justified your story might be) into something more empowering that actually serves you
Trust me, it’s a lot easier said than done.
Especially if we’re committed to holding on to our stories and being “right”
However, if you want to transcend whatever situation you’re currently facing in, the MOST important thing you need to start doing is CHANGE THE WORDS YOU USE when you talk about it.
So as an experiment…
Drop any and all ways that you currently use to talk about this particular thing
And embrace an entirely NEW way of thinking and talking about it
Choose to use your words in a way that supports you in creating the desired change that you want to see for yourself
If you need help transforming the wording on whatever it might be, post a comment below and I’ll be happy to offer an “instant language reframe”
It brings great joy to my heart to do this for people and I will be happy to do it for you
Why?
Because I know how powerful it is.
And I know that this is the #1 thing that’s responsible for transforming my life.
Make sure to practice it within yourself, on an ongoing basis, in order to grow and transcend beyond whatever it is that you’re experiencing now
However, if you feel stuck or you need help, please post a comment below with the best “reframed” version that you’ve got right now and I will comment on it and offer you some additional refinements
Best wishes
Kevin