I am being called to show up for myself in deeper ways than I have felt in a really long time. Possibly ever.
I wish that I could say that this is a beautiful gift and opportunity. And it is. But it is also frustrating. Maddening. Infuriating. Scary. And testing of all my limits.
I could easily just show up for myself in the physical realm and do what needs to be done in order to move myself forward in a positive direction. And instead, I am diving deep into the crevices of my emotional and spiritual realm, in order to meet hold and cradle myself there, as I feel the raw surging phenomenon that arise and emerge on a daily basis. Hell, on a minute to minute basis.
I wish there was some sort of answer or conclusion that goes beyond what I’m sharing right now. But this is all I have.
Simply meeting myself wherever I’m at. And inquiring into when this meeting of myself is serving me in rising to what is, and when it is me indulging in a creation of mine, when I could be indulging in many other potentially more serving creations. I am living into that question. And will have different answers emerge moment to moment.
In this moment, I am learning to transcend my masculine need for “completion”. And allowing myself to just be with what is. And let life reveal itself to me. Over time.