Category: Life

People are always showing you who they are, all you have to do is pay attention

This has been my life mantra for the past year, and it’s made a world of a difference in my own personal life (as well as in work and business)

“People are always showing you who they are, all you have to do is pay attention“

People have always told me that I have an incredibly astute judge of character, but living by this statement has made a WORLD of a difference.

In fact, it deepened what was already a strength ten-fold.

It’s allowed me to date and love FAR more intelligently (and see people for who and how they really are within a relatively short period of time)

AND it’s also saved me from going into several working relationships that would have ended poorly.

I invite you to try out this idea in your own life and see if it helps you in navigating through the world.

Here’s another variation that has served me in navigating life, in a larger and broader sense:

“Life is always giving you exactly what you need… all you have to do is simply pay attention”

Seriously.

Just pay attention.

Be mindful and aware.

And just pay attention.

It’s all here. Right now.

You are unconditionally supported by life.

Wrapped in the prevailing wisdom and safety of love.

Gently ascending upwards.

As soon as you allow yourself to see it

Written with immense love,

Kevin

 

What do you desperately hunger for and can never get enough? (Use this answer to design an intoxicatingly addicting “game” for yourself to play)

My buddy Dane Maxwell posted this question on facebook the other day and it got me to stop and think about what I really crave most in life…

What do you desperately yearn and hunger for… and can never get enough?

For me, the answer was:

Deep connection.

Deep, rich, and expansive connection.

Now, here’s where I took it one step deeper…

If I know that THIS is the very thing that my soul craves the most, how do I setup a game for myself where I can have more and more of this in my life?

And how different would my life be if I actually designed it around having more of this in my life?

(Turns out I’ve already been doing it!)

And let me tell you, my life’s been really fucking awesome.

It’s full of amazingly deep, rich and expansive connections with women, friends, clients, and even acquaintances.

So I want to invite you to do the same thing

Step 1) Answer this question:

What do you deeply crave and hunger for… and can never get enough of?

Step 2) Design your life around it by asking yourself a second question:

How can I create an intoxicatingly addicting “game” for myself to play that will give me more and more of this?

If I can create an environment where I get all of this AND it serves my sense of personal freedom around expressing the fullness of who I am, sharing my authentic gifts and ways in which I like to love, AND it makes me money too – then that’s just fucking beautiful.

When all of this is aligned and reinforcing everything together – in a way where “all serves all” – it truly becomes an “addicting game” that I LOVE to play.

Note: this idea of setting up your life in a way where “all serves all” is a concept that I got from another close friend and mentor of mine – Spencer Burnett.

Awesome guy and deep soul brother. Check him out at spencerburnett.com

Do You Want To Know The Most Powerful Tool for Creating Anything You Want In Your Life? (It works every time!)

This might just be the most powerful thing that I’ve EVER learned.

I know that’s a really bold statement but the reason it’s so powerful is because it works every time.

In fact, it’s the very thing that spurred me on the path of awakening and self-development 8 years ago.

So what exactly is it that I’m talking about?

Your words and your language.

The way you use your language is by far the MOST impactful force in how you create your experience of life.

In simpler terms:

The way you talk to yourself affects everything.

This is the realization I had when I first began my journey.

I was floundering around in a lot of self-judgment, anger, frustration and disappointment.

I saw a lot of things about myself, and about my life, that I didn’t like.

I didn’t like who I was. Or where I was. Or what I was doing with my life.

And I just kept on creating more and more stories that reinforced this negative perception of self.

And the most devastating way that I was doing that was through the words that I was using.

I realized this was the #1 thing holding me back when I stumbled upon a book called “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Dr. Shad Helmstetter

Who later became the institute through which I got certified as a coach.

Fast forward, 8 years and I’ve had to learn and re-learn this lesson time and time again.

And that’s because it’s a PRACTICE

It’s not something that you learn once, and then transcend, and never fall fault to again.

It’s something that you have to continously be aware of, monitor, and practice.

What’s the best practice for being mindful of the words you use when you talk to yourself?

It’s a practice that one of my close friends, and mentors, refers to as “Precise Language”

This practice is what pulled me out of a spiral of negativity, apathy, and stale bitterness when I was living in Cabo for 3 months during the winter.

My friend had come to visit for 5 weeks and witnessed this pattern in full force for the time he was there. And through that, he instilled a practice in which we both carefully monitored our word choice as we openly talked about both of our struggles and challenges.

In other words: it was like a practice WITHIN a practice.

Okay, so here’s the practice:

Practice precision with your language

Be ULTRA precise with your choice in wording and phrasing

Be mindful of any kind of language that is negative, void of meaning, a negator or anti-something desirable.

For example:

I want to have a business where I don’t have to struggle

VS…

I want to run my business in a way where I can remain at ease within myself as I create whatever it is that I would like to create

Do you see what a drastically big difference these two sentences have?

In describing our challenges and frustrations, it can be VERY tempting to use language that is not precise or indicative of what it is that we’re actually wanting and feeling.

It’s easy, in a fit of frustration, to decide to say something in which we describe a negative away-from motivation.

IE: where I don’t have to struggle

By saying don’t have to struggle, you don’t actually describe the reality that you DO want to experience.

The don’t have to struggle, in this case, is a “void” word.

In other words: it doesn’t paint an actual reality.

It paints a tiny sliver of what something is NOT.

But it doesn’t tell you what it actually is.

For example:

If you asked me, where are the keys?

And I said: they’re not in the kitchen.

Do you have any idea where the keys actually are?

Would you know where to look to find them?

No.

Could you find them?

Sure.

But you’d probably have to stumble around the entire house, looking from room to room, drawer to drawer, cabinet to cabinet, couch by couch, in attempt to find it.

It would be infinitely easier (and quicker) to find the keys if we used precise language to describe exactly where they are.

For example:

When you walk into the house, make a left and go down the hallway that leads to the room at the very end of the hall.

Once you walk in to the room, go towards the bed and open the first drawer next to the left hand side of the bed. You will see the keys laying  on top of a shirt. Pick them up and bring them to me please.

Do you see what a drastic difference that would make?

This language is highly precise

Apply this lesson to every other area of your life and watch as your entire life transforms.

Here’s a summary of the lesson:

Use your words to paint the reality that you want to create for yourself with clarity and precision

Be impeccable with your word

Use your language in a way that empowers you

Don’t use it to tear yourself down; only use it feed yourself positive thoughts that serve you in creating your desired reality.

Want a practical application of this principle?

Think about an area of your life where you are feeling stuck right now (or are just unsatisfied with the results you’re getting for whatever reason)

Part of the reason that you feel stuck in this area is because of the WORDS that you use when you TALK about this area of your life with yourself (and others)

In fact, I would argue that it’s the EXACT reason why you’re stuck right now (in addition to a whole slew of other things, I’m sure)

The most powerful way to observe where your language does NOT serve you is in how you talk about that area of your life with others.

We have a tendency to talk about it in a disempowering way when we are conversing with others.

Usually, it’s because we’re trying to get them to understand a certain feeling or emotion we had – based on the experiences we’ve experienced.

However, as a conscious creator, and as someone who wants to deliberately create something new in this area of your life, it only serves you to use the kind of language that helps you create what it is that you want.

Rather than using your language to convey something undesirable about the experience that you currently have, or have had in the past.

So bring greater mindfulness to how you use your language.

And change whatever story you have around this area of your life (no matter how justified your story might be) into something more empowering that actually serves you

Trust me, it’s a lot easier said than done.

Especially if we’re committed to holding on to our stories and being “right”

However, if you want to transcend whatever situation you’re currently facing in, the MOST important thing you need to start doing is CHANGE THE WORDS YOU USE when you talk about it.

So as an experiment…

Drop any and all ways that you currently use to talk about this particular thing

And embrace an entirely NEW way of thinking and talking about it

Choose to use your words in a way that supports you in creating the desired change that you want to see for yourself

If you need help transforming the wording on whatever it might be, post a comment below and I’ll be happy to offer an “instant language reframe”

It brings great joy to my heart to do this for people and I will be happy to do it for you

Why?

Because I know how powerful it is.

And I know that this is the #1 thing that’s responsible for transforming my life.

Make sure to practice it within yourself, on an ongoing basis, in order to grow and transcend beyond whatever it is that you’re experiencing now

However, if you feel stuck or you need help, please post a comment below with the best “reframed” version that you’ve got right now and I will comment on it and offer you some additional refinements

Best wishes

Kevin

I choose expansion…

This originally started as a note on my iPhone to myself about how I “should” do certain things in order to grow my business.

However, I noticed that my language and word choice wasn’t serving me – and made the whole process feel heavy – so I quickly reframed my long list of “shoulds” into positive and empowering statements that actually inspire me

This was a real-time application of something that I talked about in another blog post that I wrote here

Here’s what I came up with (as you read through it, see how you can apply this type of conscious language choice in your life and business goals as well)

I choose to create a big, strong and compelling vision around the change that I want to see in the world

I choose to attract a group of people who share a similar vision in life and want to help spread the change that we both want to see in the world (collaborators and cause partners)

I choose to attract a team of people who see and believe in the depth of my genius and trust that it would do great things if fully harnessed, channelled and delivered (both for us and for the world)

I choose to attract a team of people who have a complimentary genius (and want to work together to do great things in the world)

It feels really empowering to go back and read that.

In fact, I already see a lot of it happening.

(And I just wrote these intentions a few days ago)

I think a lot of it has to do with the very intentional language I used.

This post originally started out with a bunch of statements around how I need to do all these things that I was feeling like I was “behind” on doing – and that started to create a feeling of dread.

Then, once I reframed it, it actually started to feel like a pleasant and empowering possibility for myself.

Now that I look back at it, I realize that I’ve been taking positive actions towards these statements without having to use any conscious “will” or “force”

It just feels like the natural course of action now.

And I think it’s because that’s what my subconscious mind has been processing and working on, after I had properly directed it.

If there’s a certain area of your life that you’d like to achieve more in, or that you’re feeling stuck about, make sure you pay close attention to the way you use your language around it.

Sometimes, a simple yet powerful shift in your language is all you really need to get yourself to flowing on a more positive trajectory.

I talk more about that in the blog I wrote here, as well as how to reframe your challenges into positive constructive statements that you can use to create your life in the most effective way possible

To learn more about how to do that, just click here